Who wants to be a victim? Raise your hand.
Nobody wants to be a victim. Stuck in victim mode and being all like ”Life is mean to me, boohoo!”. Still so many of us are, victims of life circumstances. Life happens to us, we’re never in control of anything, we are always the victim…and we resent life.
People, situations, events…all happens against us somehow and it’s always someone else’s fault. It’s never us right?
Why are some people stuck in victim mode and why do some people rise above it and take radical ownership of their lives instead?
I was stuck in victim mode for years. Reacting to other people and situations all day long. Man was it exhausting and man couldn’t people just cooperate a little? How hard can it be to try to behave and act the way I want you to? I remember thinking.
Life would be so much easier if everyone just stopped being assholes and started behaving like me. Then we’d have world peace thank you very much.
Then I woke up.
I saw that I had it all wrong. That I’d been seeing it all upside down and no, it was not my mother’s fault that I was so angry, and no it wasn’t my bosses fault that I was bored at work, and no it wasn’t the kids fault that I was yelling at them and feeling exhausted at this thing called parenthood.
No. I woke the shit up and realized that the only thing that can ever create my feelings and my experience is my own thinking about the situation. My own little story created in my mind about how things should be instead of what they were. Inside my head this little voice was screaming ”things should look different!”. But they didn’t. Life did whatever the fuck life wanted to do.
Wake up little victim, it said.
”Victims and pessimists hate to be fixed, hate to be corrected, and even hate to be taught things. Because their whole position is defensive”- Steve Chandler
Ugh. I hated to be corrected. Life corrected me relentlessly and I refused to listen until it dragged me down to the lowest point of my life. Then I listened.
I hear ya loud and clear and all. Got it. Thank you. Lesson learned.
I was like Bambi at first. One step right, two in the wrong direction. I remember feeling frustrated and annoyed with my slow progress. This shit is not for the faint of heart. I stumbled. Screamed. Yelled. Took a deep breath and tried again. And again. I knew the way was through and that the option to skip this life lesson was not up for grabs. At times I felt like a brain ninja entering war in my mind and at times I was a zen monk.
As a victim I had been so focused on my problems and on how wrong everyone else was. Letting go of the victim mindset meant letting go of my armour and I felt naked and vulnerable without it. Raw. Open. I had no clue where to go from there. I just knew I had no choice.
The truth is we don’t have a choice.
Listen up here, friend. You don’t have a fucking choice. Life will come back and hit you harder and harder until you learn what you’re here to learn. It’s relentless in trying to awaken you and won’t give up. It’s its only job in fact. Stop blaming others. Stop projecting your failures on others. Stop looking outside of yourself for the answers. Stop expecting others to save you. Stop behaving like a spoiled little person and instead own it. Own it big time. Now. Today.
Step up to the next level and take radical ownership of your life and for everything in your life. Own it. Let it awaken you and let it empower you to see life with open and clear eyes. Be willing to fall. Be willing to cry. Be willing to work your ass of. Be willing to lose it all.
Be willing to play hard.
But then be ready to also laugh your ass off. Be ready to blow your own mind. Be ready to love fully and be loved for who you truly are. Be ready to break free from who you think you are. Be ready to take quantum leaps into the unknown and be ready to get your reality shaken up at its core.
The fall of the victim gives rise to your inner genius.
And trust me, you are genius.
Within you, you have this tremendous capacity for change. For owning your brilliance and owning how you react to life.